So, while on the Twitters today (you can find me at @CeeNCrumpets), there was an article floating around written by one of “Black Twitter’s Elite Idiots”. Some guy name Ice wrote an article entitled “10 Reasons Black Guys Prefer White Girls”. I read. I shook my head. I realized how idiotic it all sounded. Then, I started thinking “This is just HIS opinion, this isn’t ALL black males, right????”
A glimpse of my timeline showed me, sadly, there are other guys out here who feel this way. And I by no means am knocking ANYONE’S dating preference. But I’m saddened by the amount of sheepish black men who subscribe to this same thought process. So instead of me filling up your timeline with my thought, I took it to the blog. Here we go!
10 Reasons I’m going to start dating White men:
10. White guys LOVE my hair. Whether it’s weaved, pressed or naturally twisted, I’ve ALWAYS received compliments from the men of Caucasia. They touch it (with permission), play in it, even had one help me twist it. Also, they understand that while we don’t often get our hair wet, we don’t smell like wet dog when we do.
9. White men listen. I don’t have to tell Tom more than once what I need him to do. I’m STILL asking Dayquan to get his brush and du rag out my car,
8. White guys are family friendly. Your Grandmother isn’t worried that Trent is going to steal her Sterling Silver gravy boat at Thanksgiving. He’s also bringing over a bottle of wine for Auntie Tamika to add to the punch.
7. White men aren’t bothered by my lack of restrictions in the bedroom. I believe that sex should be more than a nut. It is a bonding experience designed for pleasure and growth. But suggesting any position in the bedroom to a Black man leads to accusations of unfaithfulness and them questioning whether they have entered a relationship with a hoe. White guy? “You said you want a finger in your ass, honey?? Left hand or right?”
6. White men aren’t trying to be music A&R on Twitter. Some of my Black brothers spend COUNTLESS hours on Twitter, dissecting mixtapes, albums, blogging, but have never said anything like “hard day in the office” or “my manager gets on my nerves”. You’re not all producers or tastemakers. Most white men have goals, and will let you know of those goals within the first 30 minutes of your conversation. Check out white twitter during 9-5…CRICKETS, People!!!!
5. White men have no problem giving their women gifts. I’ve known this white dude for 4 days, and managed to get a bouquet of exotic flowers, an edible arrangement and a $200 date. A Black guy will buy you lingerie for Christmas and get mad when you’re not excited. I’m not saying that material things are important, but it’s MANY Black men out here that won’t loan their “Woman” $20 til her next payday because it’s be deemed as “tricking”.
4. White men act like they have some good gotdamn sense. I do not constantly have to yell at Rob for coming home late because Rob respects me and is home in bed by 1. I don’t have to nag Rob because he handles his business without me reminding him of his responsibilities. I don’t go through Rob’s phone or email because he’s never given me any reason to suspect something fishy may be going on. I also don’t have to worry about Rob calling me 5453 times in a row because I didn’t respond to his text quickly enough. Rob doesn’t accuse me of sleeping with every male that I say “Hi” to. Rob doesn’t ride past my house to make sure no other cars are there, either.
3. White men love to take care of their women. You need your car washed, oil changed? Those gutters clean enough? How’s that new chandelier Joe installed?
2. White men in the bedroom. Ever got some head from a suburban boy with full lips and an appetite for days??? None of that cute shit, them boys get DOWN! From the roota to the toota!! And he’s not done until you are.
And Finally…the TOP REASON…
1. White men just seem to have it together. I mean, look at Robin Thicke, Chris Noth, Robert DeNiro, Justin Chamber, Roger Ebert and David Bowie. Hell, Even Brad Pitt!!!!!! What do all these powerful, rich, famous, melanin challenged men ALL have in common??? They’ve all either dated or are MARRIED to BLACK WOMEN.